If you have OCD for cleanliness, I’d call you the “cleanliness police”. 

There are millions of police varieties in the world– My mother is a ‘keep it properly!’ police. I am the ‘on time’ police. There are micro-police I’ve heard of– like ‘toilet-paper-correct-direction’ police, ‘re-use paper cups’ police and ‘tap-water-waste-mat-karo’ police. 

You could say there are 2 kinds of people: Those who are particular about things and those who aren’t. But if you think about it, everyone maybe particular about something!

The most commonly found, are the grammar police, who voice their concern over your spelling of ‘you’re VS your’. They are voracious readers and scored 800 in the GRE verbal. They might be literature majors or could be disguised as software engineers, policing your code instead. “The variable must be The.Facebook.Variable and not Facebook.Variable. Add the The”.

Some police’s are welcome. The “Talking” police, are the brave ones in the cinema theatre, who tell blabbering people to “Please keep Quiet!”. We request cinemas Police people to must go beyond blabbering-blasting and move to Noise and Light blasting. They must stop the crackle of chips packets and the shining smartphone lights from the hands of careless cinema seaters. I would organise a felicitation ceremony near the drinking water tap in the aisle of the cinema theatre to give a flower bouquet and medal to these police’s.

As a born planner, I am an ‘on time’ police– this means I make friends easily but find it hard to keep them. They mostly think im joking when I complain about their lack of time-manners, and slowly realise I am serious. 

Some people have multiple police’s in them. My mom is the ‘tupperware lid’ police as well as the ‘eat everything on your plate’, police.

But my dad….My dad is the commissioner of police. He is the ‘colour the teddy bear properly with a pencil’ police to the 5 year old me, and a ‘fill the form properly’ police to the 18 year old me. To avoid mistakes, he would police me to fill 3 copies of a form (any form… from college application to neighbourhood raffle form). ‘Read the form before you write’ was a standard order you can hear from dads. No one listens to parents, so I still don’t read the form before I fill it, in angry vengeance for the extra work my dad made me do in the past. 

It’s ok to be policed by family. But it’s odd to be policed by others’ family. Like you go to someone’s house and keep the coffee cup on the table and the aunty immediately slips a coaster under it–  being verbally politeness but with a hint of irritation. Embarrassing! You feel like you should have been told the police rules before hand.

Policed by the family of friends is also ok. It’s the worst to be policed by random road occupants– “move!” or “stand in line” even when you aren’t breaking it! 

Getting policed by the police is a different feeling– it’s not embarrassing, it’s just scary. Still, it’s the best type of police. It feels like you can pay-a-fine your way out of it smoothly. Tell me, can you pay a fine and get yourself out of your mom shouting “cut the vegetables properly!”?

Comment and tell us : What police are YOU?