5 things NRIs need to suck up when they know they are moving

1. STFU

Yes, just shut up will you? There is an incredible quantity of desis who tell their friends “were moving back” and then they don’t. They are still roaming around sunnyvale trying to find the best vada pav. This makes friends stop taking you seriously. My parlour lady who took clients in her sunnyvale home told all her client she’s moving to india, and they all pounced on her futniture. Even that shoddy broken side table stand got claimed. But she’s still in sunnyvale 7 yrs later. I imagine her husband got fired maybe and got a job right after the time they panicked and told everyone they are moving. So just chill. Telling people you’re moving is good for furniture selling but i would say just tell your manager, colleagues and some close friends that have paid for an occasional coffee for you. The rest don’t care or there might be a meateoric rise in jealousy of you. Don’t attract that karma to you.

2. Stop showing it off

Showing off your move can annoy even your fake Facebook friends especially by posting your shit on facebook, saying “ this journey is coming to an end. India beckons. Good bye America”. People hate this kind of blabber— it reminds me of the race reports that runners would write after their first 13 mile half marathon. “As i crossed the finish line my husband and kids were waiting there and we hugged and we were over joyed” . No one cares for this. Even “I have a beat up Fulton to sell “ is more meaningful than “After 8 years in america I am moving. I have made lots of friends here”. Write something interesting.

3. Not the time to be cheap 

You are moving continents— not going from the bed to the bathroom. Just suck it up and spend money on the best movers, best shipping company, best packing material. Hire a packing service if needed. You won’t remember the extra $500 or $3000 you spent a year later. 

4. It’s a big deal and at the same time, not a big deal

My last day in the US, I was roaming about San Francisco as if it was the last day of San Franciscos life— Taking selfies with those noisy quail birds and homlesss people in the background. I ended up visiting San Francisco 2 months later. Haha. You might visit again too. Or not. It’s ok.

5. Be generous. Give things away. 

Anything you don’t want to take with you? Try to give it away— to someone you know. You don’t have to sell everything. Keep it in office, or post it in your office email group that you have many things for free— guaranteed a bunch of people might land up at your doorstep with the shine of free in their eye pupils. Give it to them. Tu bhi kya yaad karega. 

6. Certainly buy the shit out of the USA

Go shopping for big items like it’s your last day of life and you are allowed to take it to heaven with you. Go to IKEA and get lots of stuff like beds, couches, lamps and stuff it into that container that sails across the oceans to your home. You won’t get this container chance again (Unless you want to buy it in IKEA India. At least you have that option now. )

7. Don’t let your lease get in your way

Go ahead. By all means plan your life, marriage, company search, life’s decisions based on your lease….NOT! If you have 8 months of lease left and you have to move to India today, do it. It’s worth spending money on.